In the fall of 1987, Pete and I had a son, Daniel. He was with us for five days. Christmas that year was tough, and I wanted to remember him – but not be maudlin about it Well, that year, Hallmark introduced a new ornament, “Mary’s Christmas Angels.” Now that I think about it, I realize Pete and I each had a grandmother named Mary. Hmmm. So every year now, for 27 years, I’ve purchased the next angel in the series. I love these sweet ornaments. They remind me that there are always angels among us. I have a special angel, and he’s on my mind today. Sleep in Heavenly Peace.
Boy, do I feel like crap. I guess 20 years in the mean, rude Tampa Bay area made me mean and rude, too. I’ve learned a big lesson about myself today. BIG LESSON. I need to be quieter and more in the moment.
I moved here to find peace,quiet, harmony, and friendly people. Apparently, I did not bring that energy into my new environment. I’m trying to learn about life and society up here. It’s such a change from the bad Big City. And my words/action are perceived differently here. It’s amazing…the difference. Today, I hurt a young lady’s feelings when I thought I was being kind.
You never know how others will interpret your words or deeds.
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.
In September, I moved from the big-city evils of St. Petersburg, FL to the most glorious town in the state – High Springs. I’d been coming up to visit a dear friend here on her horse farm. I always said, “I’m gonna live up here one day.”
She said, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Well, when my beloved Golden Retriever, Barbara, passed away, I could no longer live in the house where we’d shared so many happy and horrendous memories. I saw her everywhere I looked. I hated to venture out of the house when she was in my life, and with her gone, I became a recluse. Cried and missed my best friend. She had such great times here. I brought her up here when I knew then end was near, and we had the time of our lives. Road trips, running without a leash in green fields, chasing horses, barking at the big TV.
I knew I had to be here. My house sold four days after I signed with the Realtor. I moved here and feel myself unwinding, letting go of the anxiety and sorrow.
Clear rivers and streams for kayaking. Winding country roads that might lead to an endless field of cotton or big rolls of hay to infinity.
I keep waiting for something bad to happen. God, I miss my dog, but I know she’s with me. She would have wanted me to follow my dream. Something about doing that has released the weight in my soul and psyche. I can sleep! I don’t have to keep the TV on as a way to drown out the sirens and traffic.
Are you living your dream? Do you even have one? It doesn’t have to be something as big as moving away. Dreams come in all sizes. Find yours, and pursue it. Then you’ll know the feeling of and joy and empowerment that comes with knowing YOU (and God, and maybe a special four-legged “child”) dreamed it…then achieved it!
Today is my one-month anniversary here in the country. It has been 98 percent wonderful, better than expected – but two percent unpleasant.
Boxes still fill my garage. In all my prior moves, I’ve had another person with me. Unpacking can be almost fun when you’re working with someone else. When you’re alone, it’s easy to procrastinate. My new place has two fewer rooms than did my old place, so there’s the problem of finding a home for all my stuff. I’m glad I got rid of things before I left.
I’ve driven miles on country roads, just enjoying the vast expanses of green. And intricately plowed hayfields. Planted pines stand like soldiers in formation. Dirt roads lead to surprises such as a zebra farm, abandoned mansions, and squatters’ camps. I’ve met the friendliest people in the world. I’ve become a hospice volunteer.
It’s been an adventure to poke around antique and thrift stores to find furniture and accessories for my new place since I left my “beachy” furniture with my old house. I’ve even planted some fall flowers to give some color to my front porch and yardette.
I’ve made new friends. I’ve learned new things about old friends. I’m seeing the world through the eyes of a fifth grader who calls me Aunt. I wear the title proudly. We have adventures in the woods, and his eyes light up when he makes a discovery or makes me laugh.
I don’t worry as much. I sleep better.
Still miserable without my dog. And daily, I wonder why I decided to move into a place that has a “no pets” policy. She did more for my mental health than any pill or blue sky. Wondering how I will be as the months turn cold and I have no one to cuddle with, no one to talk to.
I know this is the right place for me. But I also know that Heaven does not exist on earth.
I signed the closing docs on my house today. Yay!
Everything’s on for me to leave Tampa Bay behind on Monday. Can’t wait to see how this “Live your dream” thing works out.
Ahh…people who say “yes ma’am,” and “yes sir.” People who don’t make obscene gestures part of their daily driving rituals. Miles of trees, green fields, and winding rivers. I’m taking a step to follow my dream by moving to the country next week.
Editing will be easier there. Life is slower, relaxing, and usually without stress. I’m accepting manuscripts for October. Let me know if you’d like a consult.
He’s a fixture on the river in my soon-to-be hometown. We talked to him recently, but I thought it would be rude to take his picture. You can’t tell he’s nekkid because his “wall” covers the bottom half of his body. Quite a character. I’m glad I got to meet him.